I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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