dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
