Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
bring money and cleavage
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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