she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
