I smell stomach acid.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
