; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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