areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
