does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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