You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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