Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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