You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
