I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
