As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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