new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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