and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
