Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So apparently I’m into choking now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
