He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
