if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
