How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
