I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
