My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
