where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
