I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
