3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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