She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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