new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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