his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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