how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
