that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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