WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Text me some of your sweat
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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