TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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