I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
