your parents love me but you hate me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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