im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
