Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your tits are I can't wait for
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
