I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
