I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize