I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
