I CAN MOONWALK!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is the high leading the old right now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
