jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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