It's like God shit irony all over that family
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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