I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate