So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine