The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.