Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?