for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place