Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?