He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize