I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.