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she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
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