your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation