Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize