so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
