He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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