D3 body, D1 cock
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
