Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
