At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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