he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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