i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
