Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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