i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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