Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
