Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
