I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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