well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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