The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize