you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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