I wish my penis had an off switch
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so let's talk penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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