Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
