so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
