girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
